Criticism, Types of Critics and the Empowering Wonder Traits...

It may be bitter and as cold as ice...
When criticism poured over you is huge enough,
Calmly know the reasons and stay wise...
The hearts that care will criticise only to make you rise...

But the vindictive minds will get you into their web of words, 
to showcase their envy, when you fly high...
Some weird mouths will question your authenticity, 
wishing you become their mirror image...
Some dominating rulers will flak you,
just to show their authoritative ways...
Some will prove their mindlessness and disapprove you
 by just being under the world’s influence...
Some strange creatures will throw objection 
because they are wearing a habitual lens...

It should not matter to you what the world say,
Do not swallow their excessive nays...
Follow your heart; keep doing what you truly believe...
Forgive, accept, love yourself; and know...
“No dream is impossible to achieve!”
~Jyotika Rajput Mehra Poetry

The One Who's Mightier is You
Picture Location: Stockholm
There’s nothing to muse about criticism! Its existence is as primordial as the human itself. There’s hardly anybody who doesn’t nag about the way things are or the behaviour of others. Psychologists say that in general, people have adopted a new grown craze for playing the role of critics all the time! From small nagging bites to the much harsher versions, we have all felt the tremors of this phobia. But, does anybody contemplate what happens to the one who is at the receiving end of the unsolicited sweet-sour-ugly words or gestures?

Where an optimal amount of progressive criticism shows positive result in the emotional quotient of the recipient; frequent, deliberate and excessive criticism proves to be hazardous for obvious reasons, especially when it is done publicly or over social media.

With this blog post, my point of concern is to highlight the following:
  • Major critic sources
  • Probable reasons for criticism
  • Emotions of criticism recipients
  • Wonder traits to deal with the uneasy phase of criticism
[PS: This blog post is entirely based upon the author’s perspective, in collaboration with the experiences of close acquaintances.]

Critic Source #1: People who truly care for you

Reason: There’s no probability for any reason here. The reality is that these kind souls want to be your saviours. Their intent is to support you in achieving your best.
Recipient’s Emotions: I know they care for me and wish for my success, but now it’s getting difficult for me to handle. Why have they stopped appreciating the little things that I am able to do? I am already upset and they are increasing my complexity by constantly criticising me.

Wonder Trait: Be Considerate
Mind it; this is the best form of criticism coming from the genuine people who are your support network. Keep going with the never say die attitude and do not over-think. Remember that your loved ones are as concerned as you are. Do not get hurt by their words/gestures because their intentions are absolutely true.

Critic Source #2: People who are your competitors and those who consider you as a threat

Probable Reason: You have out-performed them and shaken their confidence OR they fear that you may out-perform them

Recipient’s Emotions: What else one can expect from such low-spirited and weak personalities. It’s upsetting! I hope their drama does not hamper my goodwill!

Wonder Trait: Be the Campaigner
Keep shining like a star. Remain unaffected by your competitors’ comments and retain your confidence. Your true believers/clients will always recognize your talents. Appreciate your expertise and continue your journey.

Critic Source #3: People who are boastful and always wish to rule. These can be your domineering boss or even intolerant in-laws (in some cultures)

Probable Reason: They want to dominate over you and prove their authority/seniority

Recipient’s Emotions: It’s really disappointing that they always cut off my ideologies. Each of my action makes me a target for comment! They are senior to me but that doesn’t give them authority to be stubborn, rude and insensitive towards me. I respect them but their behaviour is making them lose it all.

Wonder Trait: Be Assertive
Being assertive doesn’t mean being disrespectful. If your ideas are constantly getting criticised, then it’s high time to pick up the weapon of courage and show your assertive skills to counter question their strategy.

The major point is to let them amicably know how you feel. At times their actions make no sense but to maintain a cordial relationship it is best to stay positive. Stand firm on your opinions and wait for the right opportunity to convince them.

Critic Source #4: People who not know the real you. These can be gossip-mongers over social media or the far-away acquaintances

Probable Reason: Fake rumours from here and there; baseless assumptions and your social media posts have triggered the critic bug in the brain cells of these people

Recipient’s Emotions: They do not even know the real me and they’re still criticising me! Their act is spreading negative vibrations all around! No matter they are my acquaintances/relatives, I do not wish to stay connected with them anymore!

Wonder Trait: Be Ignorant
Let the small minds do small talks, they can never ruin your rapport. It is imperative to take care of one thing – “Do not stoop down to their level. Just maintain your dignity.” Ignore such people in all possible ways and attain your peace of mind.

Critic Source #5: Someone very close to you, may be parents, sibling, spouse or your best friend

Probable Reason: They wish to make you their replica or mirror image. They expect you to become exactly the same as they are, in nature, preferences, opinions, etc.
Recipient’s Emotions: We are like-minded still different human beings. I have my own unique style different from them and I don’t wish to copy them. Why should I become their mirror image? I love them but they’re annoying me each time with their silly criticism!

Wonder Trait: Be a Realist
No matter what, do not leave your authenticity just to make anybody happy. It’s not about raising your ego but retaining your individuality. Stepping out of your originality means getting into a vulnerable dangerous zone or probably an uncomfortable area where you won’t be yourself any longer. Keep your calm, take your stand and tell them the reality.

Critic Source #6: People who are elderly and/or challenged by psychological issues

Probable Reason: Such people naturally gain the habit of criticising just anything and everything in life

Recipient’s Emotions: I wish these people could see the goodness around everything and especially in me! Since they are compelled by their weird nature, they’ve infused into their blood the habit of nagging and criticising me all the time.

Wonder Trait: Be Compassionate
Understand that it’s not about you, these people are either majorly old enough to understand the young you or under a mental dilemma to figure out the benefit from your actions. So, nobody is at fault. Don’t be upset by their criticism and focus on your important tasks.

Critic Source #7: You

Probable Reason: Your perseverance has reached the saturation point because you’ve been way too hard on yourself

Your Heart’s Emotions: I am absolutely of no worth now... There’s not even a single thing that I am good at... I think I have screwed up my work, my relationships, my health... I am losing it all...  Is there’s a saviour who’s listening to me?

Wonder Trait: Be Your Lover

Buddha says, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” Indeed, that’s true.

So, after when you’ve had it all, from the world as well as from yourself, you’re bound to experience the worst feeling in the world, i.e. self-guilt and self-criticism.

I know how it feels when someone tells you, its okay if you have messed it up, there’s always another opportunity.” Yes, that moment might be annoying for you, but the reality is that YOU ARE STILL NOT A FAILURE! Who doesn’t get stuck at the downside of the wave called “life”? It’s just that it’s your turn right now!

Yes, agreed that nobody else apart from you can actually know your plight. But those who love you 100% will surely feel your pain and be your saviours in the best possible manner.  
So it’s time to lighten the burden of your heart and make your spirit smile once again. 

Remember the lessons learned from your mistakes; forgive yourself, accept yourself and love yourself 100%. Look into the mirror, give yourself that rockin’ smile, speak to yourself, “I love you because I believe in you...” and voila you are ready for your journey! All you need is the much desired love first from yourself!

The Crux...

Criticism is a form of feedback that should definitely be welcomed but no feedback should possess more power than you. No criticism should shake your confidence. Accept any kind of criticism only and only as an improvisation tool.

Escape the double damage instances by not letting the critics or criticism get onto your nerves. Well-being of your health and psyche is far more significant than any criticism. Know what’s most valuable in this world... it’s “YOU”.

I would like to know your feedback on this prevalent element of criticism. 
Please leave your comments below.


* Author of this post reserves rights for the content source being an original concept. Be mindful to give credit if you refer this blog post or photograph or quote anywhere. Please do not copy without permission. ©Jyotika Rajput Mehra

* This post is based on the author's feelings, perception and experience, the purpose of which is to motivate and encourage the readers to self introspect their own personality traits as well as the behaviour of others with respect to the different types of criticism. This is a gentle reminder for all those who are facing any type of criticism; to stay strong and love yourself with complete faith.

* The author holds the ownership of the mentioned piece of art. Please do not:
*reproduce the photographs;
*prepare derivative works based upon the photographs;
*distribute copies of the photographs to the public by sale or other transfer of ownership, or by rental, lease, or lending; without explicit consent of the author.